Sleep and motherhood: Are good mothers allowed to sleep?

A heated debate over sleep training and co-sleeping has left many mothers judged online, while researchers report mixed findings about sleep training’s effects and some studies link it to improved parental mental health.

Many mothers face intense judgment over how they manage infant sleep, and that scrutiny has intensified online. The article profiles Haley Williams Pepper, who experienced postpartum mental-health diagnoses after prolonged sleep loss and later reported improved postpartum wellbeing after sleep training her second child. Sleep training covers a range of approaches, from guided checks to leaving a baby to cry until they fall asleep, and it sits opposite practices like co-sleeping in public debate. Researchers and clinicians offer mixed findings about sleep training’s effects, and social pressure often frames the issue as a test of what makes a "good mother." Key points: - Haley Williams Pepper said sleep deprivation preceded diagnoses of postpartum psychosis and postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder, and she reports better postpartum mental health after sleep training her later child. - "Sleep training" is an umbrella term that includes methods such as extinction (cry-it-out), timed checks like the Ferber method, the chair method, fading, and pick-up-put-down; these approaches vary widely in intensity and practice. - Research is mixed: some studies report improved infant sleep and better parental sleep and mood, while other work finds small or no lasting benefits and limited long-term data on child outcomes. - Critics raise concerns about infant stress and elevated cortisol, but researchers say strong cortisol evidence is lacking and overall studies are limited by design and scope. - The American Academy of Pediatrics and CDC advise against bed-sharing to reduce sleep-related infant deaths, which places co-sleeping at odds with some safety guidance. Summary: The debate over sleep training has cultural and emotional consequences: many parents report feeling judged no matter which approach they choose, and online conversations often amplify that pressure. Scientific evidence does not offer a single clear answer, and next steps for families and researchers remain undetermined at this time.